Shame Stealers Replaced by Truth Sealers
Our brains go to the most compelling picture.
When we begin to stake our lives on truth, our brain literally reshapes and creates new pathways, which allow us to literally believe the truth of our Creator, rather than the lie of shame.
The more you declare these truth sealers, the quicker the shame stealers get kicked out – permanently!
Speak them out loud. Your brain needs to hear the words spoken in order to build the new pathways to your life of shame-free living, the freedom Jesus died to impart to you.
You are worth the investment!
Shame is part of me—I’ve always been this way:
You are made in God’s image. You have his DNA and his characteristics. You look like he does! God created his world to live without shame. Shame is something that happened to you, not the core of who you are.
Genesis 1:26a-27: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature. God created human beings; he created them godlike, reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female.
Ephesians 2:10: For you are God’s masterpiece, created to do good works which he designed long ago.
Psalm 139:13-14: Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother’s womb.
I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I am not good enough to be ______________:
Our worth doesn’t come from what we do, it comes from our heavenly father.
We are good enough because we are related to the Creator of the Universe who stated after his creation of humanity: God looked over all he had created and saw that it was very GOOD!
Serpents lie in saying that we don’t deserve to receive our Father’s blessings. However, our heavenly father chooses to give us good gifts because we are his children, not because we have done anything to earn it.
When Jesus became baptized, he heard the word of his father tell him, “You are my beloved son, in whom I take great delight.” The interesting part of his identity affirmation is at that point of Jesus’ life, he hadn’t yet performed any miracles, or taught any great truths. He was an unknown carpenter in a small Jewish town.
It is the same for you.
Mark 1:11: “You are my dearly loved child, and you bring me great joy.” (This is our father’s word to all his kids!)
1 John 3:1- “How great the love the father has lavished on us that we shall be called Children of God- and that is what we are.”
I don’t deserve to be happy:
Happiness is a fleeting emotion that shifts like sand.
We were created to experience JOY, which is not dependent on circumstances or worthiness. It is a supernatural result of living life with God.
Philippians 4:4,6-7: Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
John 16:23-24: Jesus invites you: “I tell you the truth, you will ask the Father directly, and he will grant your request because you use my name. You haven’t done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.”
John 15:11: Jesus shares his joy: “I’ve told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.”
Hebrews 12:2: We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated at the place of honor besides God’s throne.
If I do everything perfectly, I will be accepted:
Perfectionism is a prison from which we cannot escape.
Interestingly, the call to perfectionism even made it into the Bible but it came from a Greek word, telios, which also means “maturity.”
How does this shift the scripture that says, “Be perfect as your heavenly father is perfect.” (Matthew 5:48)
It becomes “Be mature as your heavenly father is mature.”
Our heavenly father isn’t a bit interested in perfectionism. He wants us to become mature adults, changing based on what we learn from making mistakes and healing along the way, not children continuing our destructive patterns.
Matthew 5:48: “You are to be mature as your heavenly father is mature.”
If I change who I am, people will like me better:
Our Creator created us to be like himself: each one of us has a unique purpose that only we can fulfill. If we move away from his design for us, we will constantly experience frustration and despair.
Shame is what moved Adam and Eve to run and hide. They were afraid of being judged or rejected, so they moved away from the heart of their father.
When we make an intentional decision to trust our heavenly father, to believe he created us for relationship and purpose, we experience freedom to like ourselves. When we like ourselves, others will appreciate us too!
Psalm 139:13-14- "You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex. Your workmanship is marvelous- how well I know it."
Ephesians 1:4, "Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes."
If I engage my addiction, it will make my shame go away:
We may experience momentary relief, but engaging anything which seeks to fill our “God-hole of desire” will ultimately increase shame—which results in the downward spiral of secrecy, silence and judgment.
The devil tempted Jesus to satisfy himself with bread in the desert. Jesus had the courage to say no to the temptation as he recognized, “we do not live by bread alone (or addiction) but by every word which proceeds from the mouth of God.” God alone has the full ability to meet us in our “hunger,” in whatever form this takes.
When we take the courageous step of turning toward God to “fill us,” we are building trust. He loves us so much, he comes running to meet us in our desire.
John 6:35: Jesus replied, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”
Matthew 5:6: God blesses those who hunger and thirst for justice, for they will be satisfied.
Who am I to believe that I could ____________?
Who are you to believe you can’t? This point was driven home to me by the 2014 Super Bowl. The Denver Broncos played the Seattle Seahawks. Denver had the experienced quarterback Peyton Manning, but Seattle had a 26 year kid, Russell Wilson, who two years earlier was playing minor league baseball. But what Russell Wilson had was an attitude of invincibility, because he believed he could!
His dad built into Russell an identity and a sense of destiny in asking him the question, “Why can’t it be you?” Even though Russell Wilson went to Peyton Manning’s quarterback training camp as a teen, he believed in his ability to overcome the giants!
Wilson infected his team with the question, “Why not us?” And so, a team which was relatively inexperienced with few known stars came up against the “big gun.” It turns out the big gun was no match for the belief that each one of us has a specific purpose in which God says to us, “_____, why not you?” I created you to follow me in overcoming all adversity and to live out God’s dreams he deposited in us.
Philippians 4:13: I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me.]
John 14:12: Jesus says, “I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater things because I am going to be with our Father.”
See also: John 14:11-14 in the Message
Shame keeps me safe by wrapping itself around me like a warm blanket:
Shame is a prison, not a comfort. The warm blanket is more like a 10 foot by 10 foot walled prison—fortunately, Jesus has the keys to free you.
John 8:31-32: Then Jesus turned to the people who had claimed to believe in him. “If you stick with this, living out what I tell you, you are my disciples for sure. Then you will experience for yourselves the truth, and the truth will free you.”
Shame is my friend:
Shame is both God’s enemy and yours. Check out the shame checklist again, and consider how you have experienced the downward spiral in your own life. After that, ask yourself: is shame truly your friend?
John 14:18: Jesus tells us, “I will not abandon you as orphans, I will come to you
John 15:12-15: Jesus teaches us, “This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I’m no longer calling you servants because servants don’t understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I’ve named you friends because I’ve let you in on everything I’ve heard from the Father.”
If I shame and blame others, I can be okay:
By shaming and blaming, Adam’s life was wrecked: he became unemployed, separated from his heavenly father, lost intimacy and trust with his wife, and was evicted from the garden. He was definitely not okay after he shamed and blamed!
I Thessalonians 5:23-24: “May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it!”
Ephesians 1:3-5: “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and blameless in his sight. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”
If I shame and blame others, I don’t have to carry the guilt:
Adam’s downfall came from abdicating his role as protector of the garden. Shaming and blaming others only brings greater shame and its downward affects. Guilt may disappear momentarily, but it invites the entire shame spiral to increase.
Read 2 Samuel 11-12. King David also abdicated his role by staying home from the war. He ended up falling for the temptation of a beautiful woman – a married beautiful woman. Driven crazy by temptation, David sent her husband to the front of the war efforts, where he was ultimately killed. David had the husband out of the way and was ready to move in on his desires.
God sent his prophet Nathan to confront David. Instead of blaming and shaming, David responded to the conviction and owned his sin. David wrote Psalm 51 as his confession.
I will be shamed if I am weak or show emotion:
Our greatest strength is to be able to be transparent and show vulnerability. Smothering our emotions and refusing to ask for help stunts our emotional growth, keeps us isolated and alone, and cuts off access to our soul.
David was known as a man after God’s own heart. He never held back from expressing emotion, some of it extreme. He teaches us much about life through the numerous Psalms he wrote. Take time to read some of the following Psalms, and observe the pattern of great emotion at the beginning, ending with a declaration of his faith and trust in God’s ability to bring good out of painful circumstances.
Psalm 22, Psalm 28, Psalm 55, Psalm 69, Psalm 141, Psalm 142, Psalm 143
If I control my world, I can keep shame at bay:
Control comes from lack of trust. Eve fell prey to the lie that her father wasn’t for her, didn’t have her best at heart, and was holding out on her. She sought to control when she found her trust had been broken. When we trust our heavenly father, we can let go of control and live in freedom.
Philippians 3:20-21 states, “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.”
Our process of maturing takes us through a journey of opportunity to relinquish control as we actively follow Jesus, who has the power to bring every situation under his control. As we do this, we are developing self-control; the opposite of control. Control robs us of life, self-control gives us life!
Zechariah 1:11: They reported their findings to the Angel of God in the birch grove: “We have looked over the whole earth and all is well. Everything’s under control.”
2 Peter 1:5-7: For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love.
Titus 1:11-13: For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ.
The world would be a better place if I wasn’t in it.
Jesus told us, “The thief comes to lie, steal and destroy, but I came home so you would have an abundant and fulfilling life.” Have you ever considered that your life is so valuable and important to the world that you have been targeted by the thief to be lied to, stolen from and destroyed?
Matthew 10:28-31: Don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot touch your soul. What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows.